Monday, August 31, 2009

Adios, August!

This is one month I’ll be glad to have behind me. Can I get a hallelujah? No? How about an “affirmative”? Word.

I know, I know – I brought it all on myself, but I am ready for a change, and I am more than ready to put August behind me.

The weather is starting to cool off a little – although, it may just be lulling us into a false sense of Fall. We won’t need actual jackets here until what, late October, early November?

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before – I love fall. I like the cooler weather, the changing leaves. I love my birthday, Halloween and Thanksgiving. I love the crisp nights and mild afternoons. I even like the option of watching college football – not that I always do, but I like having the choice. It just makes me feel Autumnal. If there is football, can dinners of vegetable soup and cornbread be far behind?

I’m starting to fret the holidays this year for reasons too vast and silly to explain. Suffice it to say, there’s never any one way to make everyone happy. So this year, I’m not even going to try. I’m going to do what is best for Allison, and if anyone wants to see it my way, great. If not, they’ll have to work around that. Yeah, right. Who are we kidding - I think we all know I’ll be the pivot person – the one who accommodates all sides and ends up in a heap on New Year’s Day. At the very least, I’d like a few nice presents for Christmas. I’ll send you the IKEA catalog with pages dog-eared for easy shopping.

Matt and I are planning a little time away this fall – details to be determined – something where he can bike, I can sit out in the sun and read, and we can step outside of our daily grind for a bit. Any thoughts? We’re looking for inexpensive, bikeable, and fun. Although, I know we all interpret fun in different ways – so here’s what I’d like – quiet, cute shops, or museums or nice pedestrian friendly towns and a few interesting places to get a bite to eat. I have a few options. Barring that, I’d like somewhere tropical where my every need is attended to and I can get a great tan. Of course, that doesn’t really fall into the inexpensive category, does it?

Oh well. Life is, by its very nature, all about compromise.

Tonight, I’ll hit the Green Hills library to return some books, pick up a new one or so, and then off to Zumba, where I will impress people with the fact that I got winded on Sunday folding laundry. My mother keeps kindly and patiently reminding me that I just had a serious surgical procedure and can’t expect to be back at full throttle immediately. But I feel like I should be.

Wish me luck!

ae

Sunday, August 30, 2009

This is How it Feels

I am back to what I guess we will call normal. I can't taste sweets very well (probably for the best), and yawning and sneezes are excruciating. My throat is still sore, and my energy is still zapped easily, but let's call this more or less normal.

I'm going to start eating responsibly again in the morning - no milkshakes, grits stops at Krystal, etc. The one bad thing, such as it is, is that Coke Zero isn't a good experience at the moment - the fizz seems to attack my scar tissue and that feels weird.

Also, tomorrow I'm back to Zumba. It may put me out for the rest of the evening, but I have to get back in the saddle.

It should be a low-key work week. We're settled in to the new space - no surprises left, and then we're gearing up for a long weekend, and that's a good thing.

I'm still dealing with feeling very emotional at the moment - a cross between the last dregs of recovery, plus PMS. This, too, shall pass.

Jelly, part deux is set for Tuesday night. I've got it on the run, and I hope to make this the last batch for the year. Not that I don't love it, but I have my limits.

I got the house back in order after a week of work, and it's nearly as nice as when Mom and Dad were here. Who are we kidding...they bring something to the table that I could only hope to aspire to.

So now is the part of Sunday evening where I sit back and lament that which I didn't get done, the things I wish I could still do, and the naps left untaken.

Be well and happy.

Friday, August 28, 2009

What day is it?

I have nothing against well-worn cliches, but I tend to steer away from “Thank God It’s Friday”. Today, though, I see now why it’s so popular.

This week has kicked my butt five times – one for each morning I couldn’t roll over and go back to sleep. It doesn’t matter whether I had ten hours sleep or six, my body was just thoroughly disinterested in the five-day grind. This morning was especially brutal – I woke up to a soft driving rain – the kind that just screams “perfect sleeping weather”. The cool side of the pillow is a cruel mistress.

That said, unless something dire happens before 5PM today (knock wood), I’ve made it through a work week. And that gives me a weekend to catch up on laundry, sleep and fun. Not necessarily in that order. We have a few small social plans, that may change some, but I plan to nap as needed, sleep in where feasible, and work hard to get to bed by 11 all weekend. Not as easy as it sounds, to be sure.

I should mention that one of the things that has made the week a little bit of a challenge is the new office. New is good. It shakes up the routine, defies expectation, and causes people to rethink routines. Me, for example? I’m out of an office with doors that close and I’m sitting in a cube farm – or, something like a cube farm. We actually have these curvicles, which I’ve mentioned before. Pictures are forthcoming. I took a photo on my cellphone, but I’m too dumb to figure out how to send it to myself, and I’ve forgotten my camera every day this week.

That said, it’s not a bad new office – actually, it’s very plush, after a fashion. Clean, comfortable, and reasonably easy to get to. Plus, I can get from my office to the Cool Springs Noshville in five minutes. I made good use of that earlier this week when I inhaled a bowl of chicken noodle soup at their counter. Even more unfortunate is the fact that Nucci’s Gelato is right across the way from Noshville. I had banana pudding (with Nilla Wafers) the other day – probably not the purist’s choice, and to be honest, I couldn’t taste it all that well – but it was cold and creamy and the texture was excellent. I’ll go again soon when my tongue, throat and mind are all in harmony.

Actually, I’m more or less obsessed with food at the moment – what can I eat, what do I want to eat, what would taste good, what will I want to eat when I can eat whatever I want, am I going to eat so much that I gain back the weight I lost while not eating…this is the neverending tapeloop in my brain.

Here’s what I can tell you – there are two things that I want to eat more than anything. I want nachos. I want refried beans, melted cheese, chicken, salsa, sour cream, olives, and guacamole slathered on crispy tortilla chips, and I want them now. The other thing I am truly jonesing for is a pizza. Not just any pizza. I want a Mellow Mushroom House Pie – and I’m not picky, we can even get it with mushrooms. I’ll pick them off.

I am not craving sweets in any form. I tried a piece of candy yesterday and it burned like a thousand deaths. No mas.

I am also not craving caffeine, which, honestly, would help me more than anything to shake off the fact that I’d like to take a quick nap at my desk. But carbonation is a killer, and I don’t really drink coffee, though – to be fair, that nice warm beverage may be just what I need to get through. Apparently my muscles need to loosen up. Thus spake the doctor.

I guess that’s enough rambling for now.

Everything in life is only for now.

ae

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

South of Town

So, our company was outgrowing our space near the airport, and after careful study, opted to relocate South of town – which, as luck would have it, happens to be the very same geographic area where most of our senior management team live. Wild, isn’t it?

I can’t complain, really. All I have to do is pop on the interstate a quarter mile from the house and 15 minutes later, pop off the interstate. Voila. No more bitchy crossing guard at St. Edwards, and a quick stop at Sonic or even Walgreens requires more calculation. Which sounds like a minus, but should curb any desires to drown my sorrows in Strawberry Lemonade, and for the wallet, that’s a plus.

The real pluses start once you get to the new location. Parking is kind of a minus – there’s a mail drop at the office - a plus! No cafeteria on the first floor (minus), but there’s a coffee cart –I haven’t tried it yet. And then, there’s the fact that we’re awash in lunch options just outside our front door. Noshville beckons. As does any fast food I could think of, a few I hadn’t. And all of my favorite ethnicities – Indian, Italian, Mexican and Thai.

Can you tell I’m hungry? I managed a grilled cheese from Sonic this morning. Lunch was a cup of Chicken and Stars soup, which was 70 calories of astrological excellence. For dinner, I’m planning to take a swig from a bottle of hydrocodone and then force-feed myself anything I can shove in my gaping maw. Classy. I tried “Uncrustables” today – they’re from Smuckers – frozen PB&J sandwiches with no crusts. Epic fail. Which I guess is fine – they have no real nutritive value. But really, wouldn’t you think that they would be completely benign? Yeah, me too. Sigh... I tried twice. No luck.

Thursday I pay a visit to the man who did this to me and let him know what I think of his "modern medicine". Because he so clearly cares.

That’s pretty much the deal from here. Reporting live from Franklin, Tennessee; Allison Everett – Tonsil 34 News.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Ow, dammit.

I am feeling incredibly sorry for myself today. I took my last hydrocodone at 3AM after waking up in searing pain. Since then, it has been Tylenol only, and since I'm back on the job tomorrow, that's how it has to be.

Matt took me to Jason's Deli today where I mashed up a baked potato and ate enough to make me want the whole thing. But it hurt so damn much I boxed it and we went on our way.

I hurt. I miss my Mom and Dad, I can't stop crying, and I can't see any way out of this situation.
I tried Tylenol Liquid to see if that went down easier, but it's so sugary, I can feel the grains of sugar on my teeth. Not to mention, it burns going down.

So, I can manage the pills, but my tongue feels like it has road burn, my throat keeps drying out, and swallowing is just a fucking joyride. I can sleep a little, but I wake up with these dry spots on my throat and feeling more disoriented than when I fell asleep - and I have weird dreams.

And my ears ache, which is "normal". Since I can't taste anything, I have this sneaking suspicion that my breath is terrible, and that makes me paranoid. Brushing takes the mossy feeling from my teeth briefly, but it returns almost immediately.

I'm terribly depressed, I wish I could take another few days to pull it together. Especially since now, I no longer have an office, and I need to drop a few tears, I'll have to do it in the semi-privacy of the ladies' room.

I'm hungry, but eating is just exhausting. I've lost ten pounds but so what? I'd gladly have it all back to be able to open up the cabinet and eat the first thing my hand touches.

I can't honestly say, "Oh, but it's all been worth it. My tonsils are gone and that's the real blessing." All I can say is, "This better have fucking been worth it. Because so far, the only real thing that has come of this is pain.

And I can't see any end.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

More or Less

I have to be honest - I didn't think I would still be in as much pain at this point.

Eating... I want to eat, but I have to take narcotics in order to nibble down a soft, mushy cheeseburger - which still takes a good 30 minutes and is exhausting.

I told Mom I want Paula Deen to come here, make me a chicken/cheesy/noodley casserole, a congealed salad, some banana pudding and a sweet tea and then leave. I don't even want to talk to her. Or Rachel Ray either. If Tim Gunn wanted to pay a visit, OK. But he'd have to bring a present - some Liz Claiborne swag.

Mom and Dad left yesterday and I cried. I cried before they left, when they left, and after they left. I'll cry again before it's all over.


We actually had a lot of fun. We went out to eat at the Pancake Pantry and Italian Market, where I managed 2 silver dollar pancakes and a kids portion of buttered noodles, respectively. Today, Matt took me to Steak 'n' Shake where I ate the aforementioned cheeseburger and a vanilla shake. Very, very slowly.


I've been watching Food Network and Travel Channel as well as Cash Cab on Discovery and my daily dose of Ellen Degeneres, who I just love. She could come visit. We'd have fun. And the Cash Cab guy can come too.


I've been taking pain meds, trying not to take pain meds, and functioning both ways.


I managed to get two new blouses - Mom and Dad bought me one, I got the other. Matt took me for a pedicure today.


I bonded big time with the pugs.


And Monday, the fun ends and I head back to work.


Once I have the time to sit and sort through it all, I'll give the details.

I am going to go downstairs and find something that isn't acidic, is soft and bland and tempts me to eat. My tastebuds are jacked up. I find that potatoes, cheese, pasta and bread are a yes, Spaghettios are an unfortunate no. Sweets don't taste like anything and softdrinks hurt like hell.

I think I could eat an entire box of Mac n Cheese, but we don't have any in the house.

Basically, I'm a little irritable.

So for now. Here we are.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Quick Update

So, I'm feeling reasonably human, I am still on the liquid drug which takes pain away, but now, instead of needing it a half hour before I should be taking it, I'm taking it only as needed. Which is less often.

I would give my soul for some real food - a cheeseburger for starters.

However, I try to eat and my body just says..."eh".

Recovering, I guess. It's good.

More details to follow.

Eventually.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Whew!

So the surgery went fine. I'm in some pain, I can't swallow well, but the surgeon told Matt and Mom that the tonsils were "big and nasty" and had to go.

I am on a lot of meds - they make me feel kind of chill and vague, but sleepy? Not so much - which, add to the fact I'm trying to stay hydrated, I'm constantly having to pee.

So, popsicles, meds, drinking, peeing and occasionally dozing off.

For another nine days.

Also, my throat looks cavernous without all the tonsils in there -they really must have been huge.

Don't worry, no medical pix to follow. Maybe some of the parents, Matt and the beasties, though.

ae

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Things we know and hope to know...

As a stoned Rasta named Barney Rebble once said to me, "Let me be truthful with you..."

He then admitted to smoking pot. An admission that was so physically and olfactorily evident, it hardly needed to be said.

So let me be truthful with you. I'm having some anxiety. This time tomorrow, I'll be home, fine, safe and drugged.

Everything that happens between now and then is still up for grabs.

My hands are freezing, I could barf in my trash can at the office right now, and I can't breathe too well.

But I am wrapping up my work at the office and that's a good thing. Mom, Dad and the pugs are in transit, and that too is good.

I have a sweet husband, caring friends and family - life is good.

And another thing. Let me be truthful with you, Barney Rebble was just his stage name. His real name was Mark.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

And take it back around...

Not much to update you on here.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about Friday. Let’s put it this way, don’t Google anything you don’t really want vivid detailed descriptions of. I asked my mother what the likelihood of the anesthesia causing me to act like a jackass was – she told me to tell the anesthesiologist that I was anxious and to give me some of his “Magic Medicine”. I don’t know if she was just pulling my leg, but she said I was less likely to freak out now than if I was 15. Not reassuring, per se, but it’s all I have.

I will say I am still very, very excited about seeing the pugs and about having Mom and Dad in town. I hope they’ll get to do some fun things with Matt while I am doped to the gills at the house. I want them to take the pugs to the dog park, hit Academy Sporting Goods and generally enjoy themselves. They can slide a popsicle under my tongue before they leave. I’ll be fine.

Work is plugging along nicely this week. I am getting plenty done, and I am even packing for our move in spare moments. I have a lot of training and talking to do this week, which I hope means that I am getting it all out of my system for a bit.

Zumbaed last night - met Erika there and found that Lorenza was subbing for Jessica. I also found that Lorenza started class 5 minutes early, and since I was hustling to get from office to Y in under 30 minutes, I was not pleased. I grumbled a lot. I feel bad about that – I need to be more flexible. But how flexible can I be when I miss the class warm-up? Seriously. OK, OK. Here is my promise. Once I get back into the exercise thing, I promise I won’t let the latecomers who stand right in front of me, or teachers not starting or ending as scheduled, or people who talk during routines , and get in my space, etc. – I won’t let these people get my goat. I’ll be serene and cheerful and yes…flexible.

Onward. Upward.

PS - The jelly is maybe a little thicker than 24 hours ago, but is by no means jelly. I think I'll be doing a little post-tonsillectomy jellymaking after all. Unless something happens today while I'm at work. Those fingers? Keep 'em crossed!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Busy Girl in Music City

The weekend has been kind of a blur.

Friday night, Matt and I had a fabulous Thai dinner down in Brentwood. Mmm, red curry!

Saturday morning, I met up with Erika at the Y, where I klutzed my way through a 45 minute class with Lorenza. Good news though - Monday night Zumba is back!!

On my way home, at the corner of 12th and Kirkwood, I saw this empty lot filled with all these gorgeous candy-colored metal gliders. When I got home, I mentioned them to Matt - he had seen them on his bike ride that morning as well. After I showered, we went over and looked at them - the guy selling them finds them, refurbs and sells them - they're all from the 1930s. We kind of liked the blue one, but decided to think about it.

We went and picked up some new shoes for Matt, where I ran into my friend Rosie and her houseguest Laurie, who I'd spent the evening with on Thursday. I love me some small towns. Although, as Matt points out, meeting Rosie in a shoe store isn't exactly mind-blowingly coincidental. Fair enough, she likes shoes.

From there, we hit the East Nashville Tomato Festival. Lots of cute stuff, but my walls are FULL.

On the way back to the house, we decided to stop and make the Glider Man an offer, but alas, the blue glider was gone. There was one just like it in green, which would probably look even better on our porch, so we made him an offer, and he promised to drop it off at the house that evening.

We went home, Matt cut the grass and I cleared off the front porch. About two hours later, we had our glider.

Honestly, I think it's adorable, and I put a photo of it on Facebook, and my friends have confirmed that we have good taste.

If you want one of your own, I can hook you up - we got his card - and he sets up in East Nashville most weekends - this weekend he didn't because of the aforementioned Tomato Festival.

We decided that we'd forgo a fancy anniversary dinner and call this our gift to each other. Perfect, as it seats the two of us nicely. Maybe we'll have a picnic out there on our actual anniversary (or near it, since Matt's traveling and I'll have scabby, gross tonsils).

Speaking of tonsils - five days. Yikes. That in mind, I spent much of this morning cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I still have plenty to do, and it's going to be a crunch going into the surgery. But once we hit that point, I'll have to slow down for about a week.

We hit the Main Library this afternoon, where I picked up a bunch of good easy reading for my incarceration. Mom and Dad will be here through the Wednesday after surgery, then after they leave, Matt travels for work. I may try to wean off medication so that on Friday, I can get a nice pedicure in time to go back to work at the brand-new office at Cool Springs!. I'll probably be stir-crazy by then.

And finally, I made my jelly tonight. I suspect it's not going to jell, but then, how many times have I thought that and been wrong. Another way to look at it - how many times have I been right?

Well, there's enough peppers to make a second go of it, should that be necessary.

For now though, I need to get my downstairs bedroom in a little better shape before the tribal elders and their pugs arrive.

While I'm not excited about the tonsils, I can't wait to have the pugs here. Eastern medicine.

ae

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bad Moon on the Rise

I was listening to NPR on the way in to work this morning and they were doing Skywatch, or some such sciencey thing, and they mentioned tonight would be a full moon.

They were not kidding. Lots of weird calls, weird glitches and bad moods today - and it wasn't just me.

I know that there's no hard data that proves that the full moon causes things to go apeshit, but I have anecdotal evidence from people in medicine, social work, news and customer service.

Hang onto your hats!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Backlash


The problem with declaring something the “stupidest thing” you’ve ever seen, is that the world is so creative in its lunacy, that you are constantly having to revise yourself and say, no, wait - that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

So, I was watching TV the other day, and they showed what is to date, the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Maybelline – cosmetics maker for those of us who think Lancôme and Estée Lauder are brands for frenchy-lovin’ snobs (with the ability to recognize circonflexes and accents aigues), has developed a new mascara with an application wand that vibrates. VIBRATES! Seven thousand times a minute! It’s called Maybelline Define-A-Lash Pulse Perfection Mascara. Available anywhere cosmetics are sold!

Because apparently, I’m not doing a good enough job of flinging specks of Dusky Midnight under my eyes all by myself. I’ve espoused my theory before that some girls got pulled aside in 5th Grade, right after the informative menstruation lecture and were handed the keys to the universe – shown how to apply makeup, what to wear, how to accessorize, what to say. I was not one of those girls –they probably told me there were snacks down the hall and I went willingly.

Anyway, at the advanced age of 34 (which let’s face it, is closer to 35 now), I have finally figured out the secret of eyeshadow (other than the obvious notion of not wearing it), but mascara is still an issue. Almost inevitably, if I’m putting on mascara, I’ll need to sneeze just after I’ve applied it – the result is that I look like a walking Rorschach test. Or Tammy Faye Bakker – and really, are those not the same thing? RIP, Tammy Faye.

So, I apply masacara with as light a hand as possible and hope for the best.

I met Lily Tomlin once. I had just seen her one-woman show in NYC with my mother and we waited backstage for her to come out. I begged for an autograph, which I eventually got – but what I remember about her is two things. One, she’s shorter than I would have expected (this was 24 years ago, incidentally) The other thing I remember is that she had really clumpy mascara. Which, given that she’d just done two hours of highly physical theatre, shouldn’t have been surprising. But given that she also probably had a makeup artist, well, I don’t know. Do you think Lily got pulled aside in 5th Grade? I can tell you she was a cheerleader in High School, so she had some savoir-faire. Or at least she could drop it like it was hot.

So anyway, do you have $15 to blow along with a burning desire to know the terror of having a pulsating, goo laden instrument of torture thisclose to the only set of peepers you own? Buy it, try it, and let me know what you think.

I’ll be here waiting for something truly stupid that will surpass this ridiculous im"pulse" buy. See what I did there? Clever. So very clever.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Racing, racing, racing...

So much to do and so little time. Which is, of course, all the more reason to stop and blog.

I have today and two more weekend days to prep for the upcoming visit from the parents/tonsillectomy. And let's be honest, I have PLENTY to do.

Matt went for a ride, and that gives me some time to hustle.

I am starting to have weird surgical anxiety dreams. Which is probably to be expected. Of course, me without anxiety dreams is like birthday cake without ice cream.

Exactly.

Ok - gotta go rehang some pictures, move boxes and create order from chaos.

ae