Sunday, November 29, 2009


So, suffice it to say, we had a terrific Thanksgiving with the family. The washing machine died Wednesday night around 10:30, but thankfully, we had a replacement waiting in the basement (the house came with a washer/dryer, and we brought one in the move - whew).

Everyone was happy and healthy, we laughed, ate and were a happy group.

Today will be laundry and cleanup, and then tomorrow, I plunge back into the five day grind. Ouch!

I'm hoping to get our lights up today and get a wreath for the front door.

Be well and happy!

Friday, November 20, 2009

And a partridge, in a pear tree.

Sometimes, for no apparent reason, my mind, much like the secretary in my front room, which is a clearing house for strange and amazing clutter, pops something out that I haven’t thought about in years.

Today, for no real reason, as I was finishing up a task at work, I started singing in my head, and the lyric that came out was “Cinq! Bébés! Battus!”

Of course, you’d more likely recognize “Five! Golden! Rings!”.

As a side note, Eddie Izzard does a hilarious bit on the 12 Days of Christmas. You Tube that if you get a chance.

When I was in high school, my French class made up a song about our class in French, to the 12 Days of Christmas.

Here are the ones I can remember, translated (because I remember them in French, but that means nothing to you, unless you happen to enjoy crappy French:

1 Class that doesn’t speak French.
2 Presidents (we had co-presidents of the French club in our class)
3 New Classmates
4 Duck, Duck, Gooses (we used to play Canard, Canard, Oie outside sometimes during class)
5 Beaten babies (because we had to create skits that almost always ended in someone drop kicking a baby)
6 Seniors (the rest of us were Juniors)
7 Waves in Class (before we took quizzes and tests, we always did a stadium-style wave)
8 Stories by Monique (Monique’s real name was Sarah, and she told the funniest, meandering stories)
9 Jokes in bad taste (this verse was for, by and about me, and I say that with no shame)

After that, I cannot remember – I was so worried about blowing my verse, I guess I never learned the others.

I mean, not bad for 20 years ago, right?

But for some reason, I got “Cinq! Bébés! Battus!” stuck in my head a few minutes ago, and then had to see if I could shake out the rest. I’m tempted to check in with some of my old classmates on Facebook and see if they can remember the rest of it. Of course, like I said, my brain is stuffed full of the silly, trite and useless. I can remember 5/6 of a novelty song from two decades ago, but really, where is that going to get me? It’s not going to be a Daily Double on Jeopardy, a clue in the Sunday Times Crossword, or the question that gets me into Mensa.

It’s probably not normal that I enjoyed High School as much as I did.

Oh well.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I said I wouldn't, but I will.

I had promised not to obsess over the lingering side effects of my tonsillectomy, but today, I have the worst bitter taste in my mouth, both literally and figuratively.

I wrote more, but let's let that be it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Seriously, could you be just a little more boring?

Zumba with Jessica last night – and while I bitched and moaned, and Anna and I tried every which way to get out of it, I am glad I plowed through it – I slept so well last night, and I feel like the last of the lung crud is leaving, albeit slowly.

In addition to Zumba, I repaired my own vacuum cleaner last night. We decided to ditch the old bag, and clean the filter to see if it would smell less doggy. In the process, I decided we also needed to unclog and wash the roller brush. Well, as it turns out, the fan belt was kaput as well. So I installed a new belt, cleaned the whole machine from top to bottom and put it all back together. I haven’t used it yet, but that will happen in the front room tonight. Exciting stuff. Actually, it is kind of nice to be able to do stuff like that. On Sunday I had to dismantle the dishwasher to diagnose a leak – I picked up the part yesterday and Matt’s going to fix it for me Wednesday. I could do it myself, but I have other issues to handle. Like, the rest of Thanksgiving shopping to complete.

My family arrives a week from tomorrow. I’m actually in decent shape for their arrival, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t still plenty to do. That also doesn’t mean that when I get home from work every day, I wouldn’t rather just vegetate in front of the television. I’m finding that watching episodes of Clean House on the Style Network is infinitely easier than actually cleaning house. Go figure.

It’s beginning to actually feel a little like November. The sky today is the color of oysters, and in fact, it’s so squishy and cool out today, it’s kind of like being inside of an oyster. Only not as smelly.

I confessed to Matt a $20 financial decision I’d made without him, only to find him in complete agreement. I feel like I may be getting the hang of being a responsible grown-up. Sure, it was only $20, and it’s not like Matt was going to flip out on me either way, but it’s nice to feel good about your sense of judgment.

At the suggestion of the nice lady at the Red Cross, I’m trying to get my iron levels up by taking a children’s chewable multivitamin with iron. Rather than drop coin on Flintstones brand, I’ve chosen the Kroger equivalent – Zippy Zoos. This morning, I had a bear. It tasted like a cross between a Sweet Tart and roofing nails. Mmm, mmm! Yesterday's monkey and Sunday's lion were no better. The things I’ll do to give blood! I’m planning to go next Wednesday to see if I can make it work. Wish me lots and lots of luck.

Work is plugging along nicely. We have a new project manager, and I like him. He’s outgoing, a good communicator, and friendly. I think we’ll work well together. Allegedly, we’re going to be getting some new team members, and I’m hoping that they’re all sturdy, flexible, hardworking team players who have a sense of humor. A girl can dream.

I finally got my engagement ring resized – I had to remove it over the summer when it began cutting into my sausagey digit. It’s better than new, and I am thrilled to have it back. Thanks, Village Jewelers!

Other than that, nothing much is new. I am finding that my lunch hours have been turned over to errand running, and I expect that to continue into December. On the up side, at least we are somewhere that now lends itself to errands.

Make it a great day!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Meditations on a Friday Afternoon

Dear Domino’s Pizza: Clearly, we’ve been seeing too much of each other, but you have to stop e mailing me! People will start to talk. Also, your breadbowl filled with pasta looks equal parts intriguing and gross. Seek help.

To my black Wacoal padded pushup Bra – I never should have forsaken you. I’ve been buying the cute, fun colorful bras at Cacique, but you were at the front of my drawer this morning. Va va va VOOM! That’s it – I’m saving some money and getting a few more friends just like you. Good support is so hard to find! If only your straps were a little wider. Ah, a girl can dream!

Hey tastebuds – Get with the program, already! That metallic taste in my mouth is soooo September 2009. And it would be nice to have a Thanksgiving dinner that tastes like it should. But you know, whatever – this is my “new normal”. Special thanks to Dr. B for that nugget of mantra-y goodness.

Dear Comcast: I love that you have chat support, but it would be great if the people working it were not probably one toke over the line (sweet Jesus). I could call you, but in theory, if you’ve already told me on the phone that my bill was wrong, fixing it via chat should take mere moments.

Stay-At-Home Mothers…I love you, I celebrate what you do. But whereas you have any number of different times during the day when you could venture out to Target, my lunch hour is going to be my best shot. So while I don’t mind sharing that time with you, I do mind when two of you stop to chat in the middle of the Crap Zone (Matt’s term for the $1 Bins) and block my progress. I also mind when you let your little precious Kelsiee and Taylur and Madisyn bob and weave wildly down the aisles. If I accidentally hit one of them, I’ll feel bad, but they probably had it coming.

Also, Target – where were your Brillo Pads? Seriously. That’s bush league. Thanks for the silver polish, though. I’ll be making my Towle Candlelight shine next weekend.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Bring Your Turkey To Worky

So we got the word this morning that they’re throwing a pre-Thanksgiving Potluck next Friday here at the office. After brief consideration, I headed to the breakroom and made my mark on the signup sheets. I’ll be bringing chocolate chess pie. I was the first dessert to sign up. Good for me. Looks like so far, there’ll be another pie of some kind, a pumpkin roll, and carrot cake. As far as “real” food goes, we’re looking at dressing, corn pudding, green beans (“not casserole”, notes the bringer on the list), deviled eggs, Mexican cornbread, rolls, Hashbrown Casserole, Cheesy Potato Casserole, congealed salad (that one made my Southern heart leap), and then the company is bringing in turkey and ham.

Basically, I have learned is that we are a company of carb lovers. And fat, and probably cheese. These are good and noble things.

It’s also exciting to see what other people think of when they think Thanksgiving. For example, the woman making dressing uses cream of celery soup… and no sage. And while I don’t think of deviled eggs when I think of Thanksgiving, I love them anyway (no Miracle Whip, please). In theory, I could use this as a testing stage to throw out a few of my weirder test recipes – curried sweet potatoes, anyone? But I want to be loved, so chocolate dessert it is!

Most of the signers-up were female, as of around noon today – so we’ll see if the guys bring it. One male colleague told me he would sign up for whatever his wife told him she would make. Nice. Men! Hmmph!

If I had the mad skills, I’d cook up a mess of greens. I love greens. I could make a meal of greens and cornbread.

And since Matt works late tonight, maybe I should…

That or, you know, a Lean Cuisine.

Can’t blow all my skills before next Friday.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Pain in the Neck (and arm)!

So it was an action packed weekend.

I left work feeling anxious, angry and cranky, but by bedtime, I’d put that all out of my head, and I slept like a rock.

We got up Saturday morning, had a huge breakfast at El Tapatio on Nolensville Pike. There was a runner up in this year’s “You Are So Nashville If…” contest that read, “You are so Nashville if you live off of Nolensville but go to The Gulch for Mexican food”. Anyway, we had a huge breakfast, then went back to the house to prep for a quick trip to Evansville, IN for a wedding.

After a three hour drive and a few hours of exploring the town, we headed to the wedding facility and watched Matt's friend Marcus exchange vows with his lovely bride, Jessica. It was a great time. We ate, socialized, chicken-danced and then came home. Midwesterners are a friendly bunch.

Sunday, I hit the ground running to undo the chaos created by getting new carpet. Our downstairs bedroom is now back in order and ready for company. The rest of the house…needs work.

I was able to plant the pansies I bought on Friday, and that made me incredibly happy. They’re so pretty, fun and friendly looking. And they smell good to boot.

But by bedtime last night, the work stuff I'd been able to table reared its ugly head once again and I went to bed feeling anxious and marginalized. It didn’t help that my left arm hurt from the shoulder to my fingers due to all the heavy lifting from the day. I didn't sleep well.

So, getting up this morning was a bit of a chore.

What I have come to realize, though, is that the things at work that were troubling me probably are not just imagined, but that they also fundamentally don’t matter. I enjoy what I do – I am excellent at it, and if the powers that be don’t see that or worse, don't see fit to reward it, the only people who lose out are our customers.

As long as I can afford to go to weddings and dance with my husband and plant flowers every now and again, the rest doesn’t matter.

But I still wouldn't say no to a big pile of money. I'd get some flannel sheets, maybe get a massage.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows...

I fear that I may be turning into a mole.

They're pretty cute, so that would be mostly OK, except for the obvious limitations.

The fact that we’ve had so many overcast days, combined with the fact that late day sun starts around 2PM now that we’ve fallen back – well, I was driving today, and I was in pain from the bright sun searing my retinas. I need sunglasses. And maybe more time spent in the out of doors, being sturdy and hearty and healthy and whatnot.

I cleaned out my chest of drawers last night, re-mating socks which had strayed from the fold. I also got a large pile of season-specific gear together for its annual trip to the basement, where it’ll hibernate til late Spring. I need to pull the winter gear out of the basement and make the switch.

This morning I also managed to pull out our down comforters, lay them out to air and fluff, as well as throw together a crock pot dinner – all before leaving the house, hitting Home Depot and making it to work 30 minutes early. Super Woman? No, no – just good at what I do, thanks!

I made an analogy today in a meeting that I quite liked. “It’s just popcorn and peanuts – whether you call it Cracker Jacks, Fiddle Faddle, or Crunch ‘n’ Munch”. Yes, I’ll be using that one again. In other work related news, I’ve been given a line of dialogue to voice on a new piece of training we’re creating about Teamwork. I’ll be playing Sheila, saucy prototype designer with a heart of gold, a full plate and some time management issues. I need to research the character for her motivation. We record tomorrow.

The cough is abating somewhat, the wheeze with it, but I’d sell my soul for a week in Jamaica, even if I am becoming a mole, salt water, D&G Pineapple and steel drums never hurt anyone! Seriously, could I just get a long weekend somewhere tropical? It would clear up every issue I have and I’ve been very, very good this year. Maybe I could just drink a Pina Colada and hop in a tanning bed. If this is November, February is going to kick my ass. By then I’ll be licking lightbulbs.

Tonight, I don’t really have big plans. I want to spray some mildew killer onto my grout and caulk to see if I can make a difference.

I really want to plant some pansies, but that will need to wait til… Sunday, probably.

Also, have you seen a big pile of money? If so, it’s mine. Please leave it at my door.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Cover your filthy mouth!

So, I think I've been pretty clear about my long foray into having a cold, and I finally became agitated enough that I went to my Doctor's office after work today. They have Nurse Practitioners on staff from 5PM - 8PM during the week to deal with people like me - sick enough to need attention, but well enough to get through a work day. Smart. I've been thrice this year.

The Nurse Practitioner who attended to me tonight was named Cori, and she was a young, well-dressed woman. Minus the stethoscope, she could have been at a Kappa Delta rush event. Why Kappa Delta? Because her eyebrows were not thick enough to be a Gamma Phi Beta (tell me I'm wrong - I'm not), and ADPi was just too easy. So there. *

Anyway, Cori gave me a scrip for an inhaler (again with the inhaler?), some Augmentin (she thinks better than amoxicillin, which was my standby in college), and these cough pearls - they really do look like pearls, and they're supposed to be good at night.

Of course, the reason I am posting this is specifically because of what was going down in the waiting room. They have removed most of the magazines - Swine Flu scare, I guess. But since it's a family practice, there's a little board with magnetic letters that you move around with an equally magnetized wand over in the corner for the kiddies. I quickly scanned it and found at least a half dozen words I could have spelled out that would have been so very wrong. Fuck Penis was my favorite combo. I also liked Sex Dud, and Vag Suck. This is how I spend my days.

So here's to throat pearls, wellness and a mind fertile enough to create filth out of innocence. But I've lived long enough to know that I am not unique - I doubt I'm the first person to look at those letters and wreak mental havoc.

Life is grand.

*I have nothing against KD, ADPi or GPhiB - even though they all cut me after Round 1. I do hold a grudge against Delta Zeta because they also cut me, but my hostess walked off and left me standing there, holding a glass of ice water and looking out their big bay window. I am sure I got her ass in trouble because I told some floater who came up to rescue me the sister's name. Ahahahahah! Revenge. Not like I was going to be a Dizzy, Easy DZ anyway!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Light and Dark

So, here we are in November, and I have a few weeks to get the house in company-ready shape. A proposition as terrifying as it is critical.

Dad let me know they have procured a 16 pound ham, which means, in theory, I could go light on turkey. There could be seven of us at dinner, one being under the age of two, or if Matt's family joins us, we could go up to eleven - this Thanksgiving goes to eleven. Heh.

In other news, I've spent the past week coughing nastily, and I may end up at the doctor tomorrow for a solid dose of antibiotic. That would be a good thing. I skipped Zumba again because of the cough and the fact that my nose runs at untimed intervals. Usually when least convenient. I tried the Chinese food cure, and I've been taking Mucinex's generic cousin.

I slept a lot this weekend. I mean, A LOT. Kind of insane, but I needed it.

We also got new carpet in the bedroom, and as a part of that, we rearranged the furniture therein, and it looks like a new room! I am so excited.

I've had a lot on my mind, and that stresses me out, but I took a deep breath, thought things over, and I feel good.

I wish I could be less cryptic, but suffice it to say, I'm happy and I am in a good place. In every sense.