Thursday, April 28, 2011


 So, remember how I was worried about Lola yesterday?  She’s fine.  She finally ate dinner with gusto, then drank the broth. Kept it all down.  By the time Matt got home, she was ready to play.  Dogs.  Sigh.

I often joke about how my problems are petty, and for the most part, they are.  I call them “white girl problems”.  Sick Lola?  White girl problem.

Here’s another.  Ok, so as you may know, storms ravaged the Southeastern US last night.  My family and Matt’s are all fine. 

Buuuuuut, our cabin in the North Georgia Mountains…

Yes, that’s right – our second home, our vacation home sustained some minor tornado damage to the front porch.  Notice that while the roof and columns are all gone, the furniture is mostly intact.  We didn’t suffer any loss of life, and we’re not homeless.

White girl problem.

Now, I’m not trying to be callous – other families fared far worse.  One friend lost everything.  He has a foundation.  And a chimney.  Only one of them is still in the original location.

And we still have our porch – it’s just in our backyard.

White girl problem.

I’m going up next weekend and we’ll see what we can do.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Post Scrip(t)

1.  Lola does not appear to have vomited in my absence today.  However, when I took her out tonight she ate a bunch of grass, and has no apparent interest in dinner.

2.  I lost 1.6 pounds this week, and now 0.2 is all that stands between me and 30 pounds.  BOOM!

3.  I really wish Lola would attempt some supper.  I am contemplating making her some broth...

4.  Is there anything more worrisome than a sickly pet?  No.

5.  At the time I left the office, the bathroom signs were still in play.

6.  Maybe she'd like some boiled chicken?  Sigh, I haven't even made my own dinner.

Quit stalling!

Good news.  Lola’s puking streak ended with breakfast this morning, unless I left and she promptly vomited.  Time will tell.  As it happens, the vet called, and I was wrong – she finally qualifies, albeit barely, in the spectrum of hypothyroidism.  Medication is forthcoming.

And the meds should make her more comfortable. So that’s good.

Tonight is another weigh in.  Could today be the day I hit 30 pounds?  I’ll know in 2 hours.  My scale at home has been all over the place – which is indicative of the fact that I have had an up/down kind of week.  Still, I’d be surprised with anything but a loss, even a smallish one.  It would take 1.8 to hit 30, and that’s asking A LOT.

But, whatever.

The powers that be here at the office still haven’t disclosed the winners of the Fitness Challenge.  It bothers me.  Constantly.  And I’m not the only one – you hear a lot of low-grade griping from those of us who want some money for our efforts.  So, we wait.

I finally got fed up with another issue here at the office.  There’s a female using the bathrooms who is neglecting to flush, and it’s nasty. I put up signs at each set of sinks that reminds ladies to flush – as we all have “enough $#!% to deal with”.

They’re still up there.  For now.

I’ll keep you posted on Lola’s health and my tale of the scale…


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Something's Up

I came home tonight, walked the Lola, fed her, and then started dinner.

And then I found Lola in our bedroom standing between two large piles of vomit (her own, thankfully) , looking very confused.

I got her away from it, handled it at length, and eventually ate dinner.  My appetite being somewhat less than it had been.  These things happen.

I figured she'd eaten too fast, or eaten something weird...although, she got sick in the mountains too, so I don't know.

Anyway, later as I was cleaning up dinner, I gave her a few noodles, no sauce.  They didn't stay down either.

I'll see how the morning goes, and if she can't keep down some breakfast, we'll head to the vet.  I don't have training tomorrow, so if I came in late, it wouldn't be the end of the world...although, I wonder if New Boss understands my co-dependent relationship with the dog.

So, I've done research, and it would seem to me that Lola could have any number of things wrong.  Cushing's Disease seems possible.   Likely, even.

I just worry.  Life without Lola is inevitable at some point,  but I'm not ready.  Not that I ever could be.

She and I are staying upstairs tonight to mitigate any damage that she could do.  Assuming we can stay up there.  Tornadic activity approacheth.

I just hope that this is a minor pothole and not the Grand Canyon.


Monday, April 25, 2011

Thanks for the Memories

I started this blog three years ago, yesterday.   With this post right here.  

I just wanted to point out that three years ago today, Dad had his quadruple bypass.   I’m still grateful to Dr. Cohen for getting the ball rolling, to his surgeons Drs. Rudisill and Snyder, and to a plethora of nurses, clinicians, techs and that lovely rabbi who sang a blessing for my father.  I also got to meet the Crown Prince of Endocrinology, Victor Silverman, MD.  If I were casting the role of God in a  Biker Movie – I’d cast Dr. Silverman.  Who didn't know he was Crown Prince til I told him the day Dad was release from St. Joe's.  Whoops.

Dad is doing pretty well, all things said and done.  His balance is a little iffy sometimes, he has had a few rough patches, but he’s here to tell the tale, and that’s more than I’d have hoped for three years ago.

My father, clowning sideways.

Matt, Lola and I had the pleasure of spending a weekend with him, Mom and the pugs, and I’m grateful for it.

I’m generally grateful.  I have love, health, a sense of purpose and some cute clothes to wear. 

And really, does it get any better?

I doubt it.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Hippity Hoppity

I had a wonderful Easter.  We went to the mountains with Mom, Dad and their pugs.

Lola is getting old, friends.  Her blood test results weren't exemplary.  Basically, her liver enzymes are elevated, which could mean any number of things - a growth, or something pressing on it, or trauma.

So the vet suggested when we redo her heart ultrasound/sonogram this summer, we check the liver as well.

We're also waiting for results on a thyroid test they added to her panel.  This will be at least the 3rd time we'll have tested her thyroid.  And while I know it would be easier for the vet if she had hypothyroidism, I'm betting she doesn't.   

I think she's getting old. 

Lola and Maggie, the elder pug had a little altercation this morning, but that was it as far as family drama.  

Mom admitted that Lola snarled at her when she tried to get into our car with Matt on Friday to go to the mountains.

Lola, in my opinion, doesn't have a mean bone in her body.  I think she gets disoriented, and she gets protective of her space.

I don't believe she feels especially good.  She sleeps a lot, moves slowly and tentatively.  She didn't spend much time chasing tennis balls this weekend - she wore out pretty quickly.  I took her out on the Rhino, though - she caught the scent of something and perked up.

She eats pretty well, but slowly.  She did vomit on Saturday morning - but I blame the food I gave her - it had been in the trunk a bit longer than I thought.

So I don't know.  I asked Mom for her honest assessment.

Mom said, "I think she's failing".

Which is about as honest as it gets.  Dad and I talked about it too.  He understands I'll miss her but that I have to remember that death is a part of life.  I think we may have been having that conversation for a broader purpose.

Well, we'll see what the thyroid test has to tell us.  I'll get her back onto the cardiac meds, after a hiatus longer than I care to explain because I couldn't get my shit together to get to the vet for refills.

Happy Easter.  Really cheerful, I know.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Show Your Work

Ok, so my Fitness Challenge Results are in - down 25.4 pounds, and down 2.8% in body fat.

The winners...well they still haven't been named because a handful of people haven't weighed in yet.  WHAT??? Yeah, I was annoyed, too.  No it's not fair, and yes, I politely complained about it.

But, I think unless something goes horribly awry, I took first in the Women's Category.  One colleague allegedly lost 10% of her fat, but only 3 pounds.  Let's say that she weighs 120 pounds - and that's a stretch because this gal has tits aplenty and is easily 5'8", but it's a good number to play with - well, 12 pounds would be 10%, 6 pounds would be 5%, and 3 pounds...2.5%.

So if you add her 10% + 2.5%, that gives her a "score" of 12.5.

Whereas, I lost 11% of my body weight, plus 2.8% body fat...a score of 13.8

So, then the question becomes is that even how they're going to figure it.  No real rules were ever published, and part 2, we still don't know if they are setting up Colorado vs. Nashville or a combined result.

So I have no idea.

But, I weighed in today at Weight Watchers, and...down another 2.4, putting me at 28.2 for the year.

Which means that my colleague can suck it.

No, she's really nice, but I need this more than she does.


I made a cake for the office tomorrow, and then tomorrow night we have a big old party.

And then, Easter Weekend.  I haven't packed, I haven't even given it much thought.

Tomorrow while I'm at work...I'll do some prep.

I hope.

And that, my friends, is that.

As soon as I have results, I'll be talking at you.


PS - If I do win some money, I'm thinking of buying a series of Boot Camp sessions.  Or paying down the new mattress.  Either would be awesome.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

All the Marbles

Today is the big Fitness Challenge Weigh In at work.  Which, since I haven't hit the scale there since January, is sure to be affirming.

But, it's the results that will be used to pick a winner, and I want to be that winner.  Badly.  I may have competition in Colorado.  A woman named Lori, who is not a big girl to begin with has lost a few undisclosed pounds. But it's percentages that matter, and I've hit that 10% mark, so...

I keep trying to pretend it doesn't matter, but it totally does.

Last night didn't help.  The boss' boss took the team to dinner at Bonefish Grill - they did a small plates tasting menu, so while I didn't eat a lot of anything, I had a little of everything.  And paid for it with indigestion.

Still, the overall trend from January is down.

I'll post again after the weigh-in with the tale of the tape.  A winner may not be announced today, but you can bet I'll stay on top of it.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

Be kind to your web-footed friend...

Our new bed arrived today, and we both took a long Tempurpedic nap.  I have to say, I like it.

Aside from the comfort, the thing is just damn beautiful.  I'll take pictures once we have the whole room squared away.

This week is going to kick my ass.  I have dinner Monday night with some of my teammates.  The boss and her boss will be there as well.  What to wear, what to wear?  Dinner itself is at Bonefish Grill, and so I'll get my fish on.  Which is good because the next day I get to weigh in for the fitness challenge.  Aww, yeah.

Then we have an company meeting on Wednesday, followed by my real weigh-in.  Awesome.

Thursday night, I have the company Anniversary Party, and on Friday, no work, but that's when the real work begins.  Hippity Hoppity - Easter's on its way.

So tomorrow,  I need to start prepping.   Lots to do.

Lola had her annual exam today - and she has an essentially clean bill of health.  Her heart murmur is maybe a little louder, so they want to repeat her sonogram in November.   But, they did some blood work, aspirated a fatty lump to make sure it was just fat (it was), checked her out, took some of my hard-earned money, and sent me on my way.  Is it selfish to hope the blood tests come out OK?  I love my beast, and I've been attentive to her medical needs, but she feels fine.  She eats, drinks, pees and poops as expected.  She barks at strangers, loves a good tennis ball, rolls around in the grass and is always happy to see me and Matt when we get home.

What more could I ask?  Nothing.

And she's twelve.  Her life span is finite.   I'm not going to let her suffer, but I also can't imagine there's much more I can do to prolong her time on this planet.

So.  There's that.

Another hapless robin has built a nest in the eaves our front porch.  It's a great nest.  I've seen her on it twice, and since then, nothing.  I have to wonder if we spooked her with our bed delivery today.

Well, if so...  free nest!

Tomorrow I'm going to hit the Y, even if it means I'm just getting on an elliptical.  I missed Aqua Fit today, and thanks to my company, I'll be missing Monday Zumba.

I need to win that fitness challenge.  Momma needs a new pair of shoes.

Literally.  I threw on my tennis shoes today, and they STINK.  I don't know why - my feet are like little daisies.


OK then.  Good night.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Killing me softly...

Great news, kids!  Another loss this week (down 1.6), for a total of 25.8 pounds of fatty fat GONE.

And the weigh in for all the marbles in the fitness challenge is Monday.  Allegedly.

We have the new bed coming Saturday, and I am stoked.  I cleaned out from under our current bed to accommodate, and even made a change to our layout.  Hope Matt likes it, but I am not holding my breath.  I think it kicks ass, though.

I'm planning an outing with some of my peeps to go to a Nashville Sounds game.  I can't wait.  Super fun!

And honestly that's about enough.  Isn't it?

Well, I'm glad as hell that it's almost Friday.

And that, for sure, is enough.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Here's the Wind-Up...

I came up with a new idea for a reality show.  Now, if you’re somehow connected with Style Network, hit me up – we can make this happen. 

So here it is.

I’ve been working on a catchy name – I’m thinking “Crimes of Fashion”.

A van, marked “Fashion Police” pulls up at, for example, an office building -and 5 "Style Mavens" jump out and descend on the location, SWAT style.  They do a line up the workers in the office and each maven selects one person who needs help.  Man or woman, old or young.  We get some mug shots with a list of their offenses (ie, Assault with an Ugly Pattern, Misappropriation of Hairspray, Failure to Control Visible Panty Line).  They “arrest”  the five suspects and load them into the van.  From there, they have that day to get them a new cute outfit, new hair, some skin tips.  Then they return them to a happy hour reveal with the rest of their work-mates.

They could hit up a college dorm, or a Book Club or any group of people who already know each other and have a rapport – that makes the quick turn on the reveal possible.

Low budget, high entertainment.

And, you know – one outfit, a little hair – can be the nudge that the challenged individual needs to get a step in the right direction.

Call me, Hollywood. 


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Nerfs of Steel

Weigh in tomorrow, and what else is new?  I have concerns.

The scale isn't showing me any love, or progress.  So, either I didn't lose, or the scale at the house is fucking with me.

And worse...I'm HUNGRY.  But afraid to eat because, I don't want a gain...

Which is the dumbest thing I've ever written.  Trust me, I know it.

So, awesome.

I planted my morning glories this evening.  Every time I plant them, I worry that they won't come up. And then they do!  Miraculous!  Well, except that...THEY'RE WEEDS!!!!

Really - they grow wild!  Last year, I didn't even plant morning glories and they came up.  So yeah.

This year, though I have a new variety, and we'll see - they're going to be pretty, if in fact they come up.

These are called Sunrise Serenade.  And I'm stoked.

You want more interesting info about morning glories?  Here.  It's recommended that you weaken the hard coating of the seed before planting - which can be done by soaking in water overnight - which is the easy way but requires you to...plan ahead.

No thanks, I go the other route.  Roughing the seeds up with sandpaper.

Yep, my nails look like shit, but the glories are planted.

Also, and finally - did you know that the British use the phrase Morning Glory where Americans would say Morning Wood?  Now you do.

Rule, Britannia!


Monday, April 11, 2011

The kind of help we all can do without.

Great weekend.  Friday we went to a hockey game, the Preds won, they scored 4, so we get a free Frosty (which I will not be cashing in on).  We went bowling Saturday night, and I actually beat Matt once.  Sunday, we bought a new bed.   It looks like this:

Which is huge.  It arrives, along with a new mattress, on Saturday.  I can’t wait.  Seriously.  Memory foam, people.  FOAMY GOOD!!

And speaking of advanced polymers, I learned the hard way that you shouldn’t use a Magic Eraser to get paint off your arm.  I’ll spare you pictures, but Google it and you’ll get the general idea.  Which is that I’m a f***ing idiot.  Good news,  a full recovery is expected.  And I won’t do that again.

I went out for lunch today, because I needed to get bananas, tortillas and dog food.  I went to WalMart.  I also picked up lunch at Chick-Fil-A.  Since I was tired of the grilled sandwich, I got an 8 piece nugget instead.  One point higher.

I have been so sick ever since.  So sick.  QUEASY. 

Grease and I have to part company.  Forever.   

Zumba tonight.  The weather may or may not cooperate, but I have to get moving.  I have to.  It doesn’t hurt that I like some of my classmates, and the instructor is… well, she’s not Jessica, but then Jessica wasn’t Cacilda.  I still miss Cacilda.  But, the need to dance isn’t limited to a single instructor.

I’m starting to get excited about Easter.  I’ve ordered a few surprises for a few people.  That’s all I can say for now.    My own surprise to myself is going to be bedding.  Shhh.  Don’t tell.

I may hit that elusive 25 pound mark this week.  I’ve done well.  Not perfect, but better than last week, for sure.  I have to say that my cravings for salt and sweets are battling it out in an epic way.  Chocolate covered pretzels?  Cheez Doodles and fondue?

Or fruits and vegetables.

Hmm.  Well, no more nuggets – they look harmless, but they aren’t.

Death Nuggets, With Evil Sauce

Kind of like Magic Erasers.

Tiny, powerful...disfiguring


Thursday, April 7, 2011

And all that jazz...

So, last week, one of my female co-workers came running over to my desk, screeching, to show me an advert in the Nashville Scene (our local weekly alt-entertainment rag) for Vajazzling.  She wondered what exactly that was, so we Googled it.  As the name may imply, it's a portmanteau of va-jay-jay (slang for vagina) and Bedazzling, the act of applying rhinestones.

In short, it's decorating your bare, waxed nethers with crystals and glitter.

While it's an amusing idea in practice...count me out.

Of course, it's a hot topic at the office now.

I think it would be funny to apply, rather than crystals, some of those googly eyes you find at craft stores:

I mean, really - only the truly humorless can't see the possibilities there.

Meanwhile, I'm shaking off last night's disappointing weigh in, and re-dedicating myself to the cause.  But I have to say, I still want salt.  I wonder what my body is trying to tell me.

I did eat better today - no errant cake consumption, or trips to the vending machine.  I ate some crackers from Trader Joe's, but my Points (Plus) are on track.  Now, just need to do that six more times, get a little exercise in, and drink a ton of water.

Simple.  So easy.

I also want to spend some time working outside this weekend.  I need to get my deck plants in order, which means repainting and fixing my chair that I plant in, sweeping up old broken pots, and generally making some decisions.

And of course, the house is a mess.  I say that daily, but it's tough to make a dent.

Which, really, is a statement we could extend to life in general.

Good news though.  There are baseball games in my future, and a bowling outing, and a much needed trip to the dermatologist.

I need a haircut, and Lola needs to have her annual exam - where I know they're going to want to do lots of fun things to her.

Maybe they can vajazzle the patch where her hair still hasn't grown back after they removed that lump on her back last August.

What would they call that then?  Body art?  Dressed to the K-Nines?

I've got nothing.

Let's keep it that way.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

In Blog We Trust

So I am what you might call unchurched, or a heathen.  Technically, I guess that if we got down to it, I'd have to say I'm a Secular Humanist, although - I don't belong to any society or have a badge or anything.

I think that it boils down to this - I try to be a good person because it's the right thing to do - not because I believe that I'm going to be judged for it at the Pearly Gates.

And I try, oh how I try to be tolerant of people who don't believe what I do, sometimes, it's tough.

Here's a for-instance.

I went to WW today, and I lost 1/5 of a pound.  I'll take it.  I've been mainlining salt, and constantly hungry.  So, you know - that's that.  Plus, I ate cake.  Twice.  And Indian buffet.  And M&Ms.  Totally f***ing worth it.

Point being, Irma (not her real name) was in Destin this week, so we had a sub - we'll call her Nancy.  Nancy lost her 20 pounds 20 years ago. Yawn.  She had a guest speaker with her.  The guest speaker, who I'll call Kelly came to tell us how she lost over 200 pounds over a 2 year period, and learned to be a "gym rat".

In and of itself, the story was really compelling.  What killed it for me is that God spoke to her at Henry Horton State Park and told her He would walk with her on this journey.  She talked about crying out to Jesus for help.

And I have no problem with that.  But then several people were crying, and "amen"-ing, and congratulating her on her testimony and I thought, you know, damn - can't I get my skinny on in an non-ecumenical setting?

I mean, I don't begrudge Kelly, and I think she did an awesome job, and loose skin aside, she looks amazing, and she's inspiring.  She needs Stacey and Clinton to go pants shopping with her, but you know,  it'll be fine.

But, I go to my weekly meeting to hear a leader read from a prepared topic, let people blah, blah about their challenges, get some advice on low point, tasty foods, or how to eat Italian without blowing it... I like that I can do that without feeling like I have to profess my faith or lack thereof.

I mean, Weight Watchers is my religion - can't we leave it at that?

And, yeah, I know - I'm going to Hell.  Which, if I believed in Hell, would be terrifying.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Benny Lava

I went to lunch with colleagues today, and we had Indian buffet.  And I didn't behave too badly.  Although, it was rich enough to send me slumming with Tums.  And it tasted good, but I didn't eat a ton, and I don't feel bad about it.

We're going to celebrate Mom's birthday this weekend, and I've ordered a caramel cake from Rhodes' Bakery.  Dad is a bit under the weather, still - so he was grateful for my assistance.  And who doesn't love caramel cake?  The question becomes, what kind of ice cream???

Like I need to spend another minute contemplating cake or ice cream.  Love them, though.

It's been unseasonably cold this week, and even my 24 hour boondoggle to Houston didn't kill the chill in my bones.  It's enough to make a sane woman crazy.  And as we know... I'm not sane to begin with.

I really, really, really want some new clothes.  I bought a few bits and pieces before my trip, and I see that they make me look my best - and I want five days worth of looking and feeling great - I can handle looking average on the weekends.

I have some Kohl's cash - now, I just have to spend it. 

I'm throwing money around like a sailor on shore leave.

And with that, let's get this party started - it's weekend time!