Wednesday, June 26, 2013


I'm in Las Vegas.  I'll spare you the assload of pics I've taken because they're either of food, of me (and unflattering), or they were taken for my amusement.

It's been good.  I think there's a chance I'll get asked to come again because I'm such a stellar team player and just fun to have around - plus, I know my products.


The downside to all the fun and games is that I'm sick as a DOG.  I have a cold.  I also have what appears to be jock itch, or whatever the female version of that would be.  Thong Rot?  My feet look like raw hamburger.  My ability to walk is somewhat impaired.  But I can get a cab like you wouldn't believe.

I'm eating poorly.  Very, very poorly.  I ate 2 meals yesterday.  In N Out Burger... both meals.  Today I ate a decent breakfast, and around 2PM, an ice cream sandwich.  Dinner to follow at a place called STK.  They have steak.  Really.

No exercise, not enough sleep.  Weird jet-lag issues. 


So behind on email and timesheets at work...

I'm unbalanced.

For reals.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Set my soul on fire.

I'm heading to Las Vegas in a few days.  I couldn't be more excited.

Well maybe I could be.  Since I'm going for work, it won't be all play.  But I'll do what I can to squeeze some in.

Work tomorrow.

A pig roast at an old friend's tomorrow night.

A day with Matt.

Then a long flight, and then...

Sin City.

I'm sure my sin of choice will be gluttony.  Or sloth.

Why not both?


Monday, June 17, 2013

La belle chienne sans souci

My husband accused me of using Lola as a crutch late Saturday night.

The fact that my immediate response was righteous (?) indignation, tells me he has a point.  And perhaps, a good one.

It's ok to be sad, it's ok to miss her, but I need to get unstuck.

So, Sunday morning, I got up and cleaned the kitchen with a vengeance.  Because it seemed like something to do.  And I shredded documents.  Lots of them.  And got rid of a dead plant in the front room that has been dead for... months?

Basically, I'm trying to get my living space to less resemble my emotional state - at the moment,both are cluttered and a little dusty.

And I need to eat better, exercise more, and basically give my mental and physical states the reboot they so desperately need.

To say nothing of no longer using Lola as a crutch.

This dog, however, might be just what the doctor ordered:

Maybe I just need a therapy animal?


Saturday, June 15, 2013

Like father, like daughter.

Tomorrow is Father's Day.  I've done nothing.

Nothing.  Well, I did buy a card, but I didn't send it.

And for reasons I can't really go into without spilling everything in my overflowing handbag of crazy out onto the table and sifting through each and every gum wrapper, half-used lipstick and key to an apartment I no longer inhabit, that's just going to have to be OK.

For now.

I love my father.  I do.  But he has the ability to push buttons that nobody else even has access to.  

Today, he mashed the hell out of one without even knowing.

And yes, he's sick, and scared and angry - and I know his behavior is a result of those things.

So, I'll take a deep breath, reset that particular button and keep going.

Because I love the man, and he was right, and we both know it - even if he doesn't know that I know it.


Kate Smith

PS - It might have had something to do with my weight...

PPS - Ok, it definitely did.

PPPS - I miss my dog.

Friday, June 14, 2013


So, this is wacky...

I was flying home last night, after much delay in Baltimore, when I saw this:


I looked it up - a group of these ladies is called a Superfluity of Nuns.

I know taking pics of strangers - it's a nasty habit.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Bar None

I fly a fair amount for work.  Yesterday, I was in a TSA line near an Orthodox Jewish man wearing a yarmulke.  I was dying to know if they made him remove his lid.  I mean, we're in the deep south - do they know that's bad juju?

I never found out - two lines diverged in yellow terminal - and I took the one less populated by elderly and slow people - and that made all the difference.

To paraphrase Mr. Frost.

Anyway, once I got to the terminal, I saw another figure of interest.

I'm not superstitious, but...

Flying Nun? Sister Bertrille, is that you??

The Lord would be a real jerk to smite a flight with a nun on it.  I also love seeing a plane full of orphans.  Makes up for my rotten Karma.

I was trying to be all stealth taking this pic.  My colleague asked what I was taking a picture of.  I answered, "Noneya."  

As in, "None ya damn bidness."

Because I'm hi-larious, dammit.

I sent the image to a friend who said, "Nice Penguin."

I love that my friends say the things that pop into my head.


Monday, June 10, 2013

Cranky much?

Maybe it's the heat.  Maybe it's the humidty?  Not enough sleep or too much?

The point is, I'm not at my best.  I realize I'm cranky, a little foggy... and I think I have early PMS.

The robin from last week's post flew the coop before laying her clutch.  Effing robins. 

Tomorrow, I head to Washington DC for work for a few days.  Normally, I'd be stoked.  Normally I wouldn't be traveling with a pack of divas, too.

I'm really not kidding.

Six people, traveling from two locations.  Three flights, three rental cars, three different hotels.  Would that I were kidding.

Meanwhile, it's hot here in Nashville, and my hair looks like deep fried pine straw.

I'm sitting here, eating watermelon and knowing I need to pack.  But I don't want to.

Because I hate all the clothes I own, because I'm a cow.

And I'm not going to Zumba tonight because I have a little heat rash that would be best served to not sweat into.

Just saying.

On the upside, I did find my wallet that went missed at 7:48 this morning as I was trying to leave for work.  Oh well.  It was hiding under a pile of things in our Butler's Pantry.

We don't have a butler.  Maybe I should get one.

Wish me luck in our Nation's Capital - I will need it.

Photos surely to follow.


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Bob, bob bobbin' a long

So, we have a new houseguest.

Turdus Migratorius.  The American Robin.

Here's a bad picture, but she gets pissy if I try to get closer:

So, Friday night, I updated her status and mine on Facebook:

For the third time in four years. A robin has taken up residence in the eaves of our front porch. This one is very vocal every time I enter or leave my home. And I'm all, "Bitch, I pay the mortgage!" And she's all, "Bitch, please! I built this with my feet and mouth and I *still* gotta lay eggs." I think we're at a stalemate.

So, yeah - I'm kind of hilarious.  You may recall from past years, we always scare off the robin before she manages to lay eggs and have her little robinlets.

I have hope this year.