Saturday, August 31, 2013

Color me frustrated!

Matt and I are thinking of repainting the den.  It needs it, if only for the fact that whomever painted in the past didn't properly prep the faux wood paneling and the paint is peeling in places.

The problem is, Matt and I are both incredibly opinionated, very stubborn, and prefer two completely different palettes.

Here's a selection of four possible colors we agreed on after about 45 minutes at the Home Depot.  I like three of them.  Matt likes one.





Hint:  his one isn't one of my three.


We're going back tonight for two more samples.  One is a color I liked at the store (and have picked out at random the last three times I was at Home Depot).  The other is a color he likes and I would agree to if the sample looks OK on the walls.

I just want a room with a little purple in it.  Purple, but not puuuuuurrrrrrrrrple...

You know what I mean?

If not, watch this:




Friday, August 30, 2013

Food Talk

Just because I am trying to watch what I eat doesn't mean I don't still eat.

Let me tell you a little about dinner last night.

If you're ever in Henderson, NV - you owe it to yourself to have a meal at Lindo Michoacan.

First of all, they make their own tortillas, and they're yummy.

Second, they put chips on your table, presumably made from the same aforementioned tortillas.  And with those chips, a bowl of salsa that is en fuego, and a bowl of frijoles refritos.  Beans are good for the heart.  I'll leave it at that.

Their menu is vast, but not inappropriately so.  What I mean is that they do a lot of things, but they're all of a type.  Ever been to a place that does breakfast, and Italian, and sushi and meat and three?  Chances are two things: one, they have a huge refrigerated case of pretty looking, lame tasting cakes on slow spin, and two - they probably have an identity crisis.

Anyway Lindo Michoacan understands that they're a Mexican joint and menus accordingly.

Now, for dinner, I had the same thing as I did the time I went for lunch.

Ensalada Marinera - an avocado, shrimp salad served in the hollowed out shells of the aforementioned avocado.  Lots of cilantro, lime, garlic and tomato.  A little jalapeno.

It's just... perfect.

So, that, two hot, fresh tortillas.

Add an iced tea and you have a healthy, delicious meal.

For about $12.

So yeah.

I would be willing to go back just for that.  No kidding.

ae

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Lone Ranger

For reasons that don't actually matter at the moment, I didn't have to report to my customer site today, but I couldn't get an early flight home.

So, I stayed here.  At my hotel.

By 11AM, I was losing my mind with boredom.  I just wanted to go back to bed.

I've been reading a lot about introverts and extroverts lately, and I can't decide which I am.  I mean, when I'm with people, all I can think about is getting a little time to myself and relaxing.

When I'm alone, I feel an intense need to connect.

I don't know - I may just be a nutjob.

I remember when I was 20.  I went to Montreal by myself for a week.  Why not?

I went specifically to see live comedy at the Just for Laughs festival.

And I remember being acutely lonely during the week at various times, and then specifically the last day there.  I had done everything.  Everything that I wanted to do, had read about doing... I was done.

So I went and bought a thick, fat paperback (Maeve Binchy's Glass Lake) and I just sat and read it at the bus station where I would catch the shuttle to the airport.

I had way too much time to kill and even if I was going to be hours early to the airport, I still had too much time.  I sat reading for probably two hours before I got to the airport two hours early.

Now, I very nearly went back to a strange man's apartment for coffee - it was a lost in translation kind of moment - he invited me for coffee - I thought he meant at a cafe.  His name was Roy.  I managed to get out of it with a little white lie once I realized I was in over my head.

But that's really the only connection I made.  I wandered through this amazing city by day, and sat watching incredible shows at night, and I was completely alone.

It was honestly fine, until it wasn't.  But I look back on that, and I feel sad that I didn't have a friend with me on that trip.  No one to talk with and make plans or share the experience with.

Fast forward nearly eighteen years.

Tonight, I got dressed to have dinner at a nice place, one I've eaten at before.  I sat alone, ate alone...


Uh.  Yeah...


And came home.  I did talk with one of my favorite customers today, as well as one of my colleagues.  I finally connected with Matt today, and Mom - and then Jim called on my way home.

So, it's not as though I went without contact all day.  But I feel kind of bleh and sick.

I'm packed for tomorrow - just need to throw in my toiletries and laptop in their bags tomorrow and I am ready to go.

I haven't slept well on this trip, and although I've eaten reasonably, for the most part, I haven't been as active as I could be.

I plan to hit up some serious Zumba over the weekend.

And do some laundry.

And get ready to head to Seattle. 

Oh, yes - did I mention?  I am going to do a Seattle run Tuesday.  Back Wednesday.

I think the rest of the year is going to be ridic with travel.  I need to figure out a way to feel connected, get some balance and stay the course.

I'm self-prescribing a regimen of lots of cold water, sunlight, fresh air, exercise, good food and sleep.

But first, a new episode of Project Runway.

Because I need a little bitchy fashion before bedtime.

ae



Sunday, August 25, 2013

Random Stuff

1.  I took a long nap after a very spicy Indian lunch today.  Mistake.  I had weird dreams, woke up with a stiff neck and my sinuses feel like they've been filled with Elmer's Glue and baked shut.

2. There's a woman I've known since High School who is on Facebook.  She cannot stand her mother, who I am also friends with on Facebook.  But what's hilarious is she is becoming her mother.  Completely. And she doesn't see it.  HILARIOUS.

3. I checked in for my flight tomorrow four hours late and I'm still boarding as B 10.  The universe has provided for me in abundance on this trip.

4. I went to Zumba this morning - good for me!  Bad for me was the woman standing directly behind me.  Right before class started, she put on one of those jingly belly dancer scarves on her hips.

Like this:


And if that wasn't loud enough, she would emit these loud, percussive piercing "WOOOOO!" noises at intervals.

She's lucky I didn't punch her in the teeth.

That said, it was a great class - I have no excuse not to be there every weekend I'm in town.  I just need to sneak up behind Jingles McShouty and give her a taste of her own medicine.


5. All of my friends on Facebook are posting some amazing recipes.  But tonight is chicken and pasta.  Because I'm laaaaaazy.

6.  Matt asked me why the water in the washing machine would dissolve the little pouches of laundry detergent I use, but why the liquid soap in the pouches wouldn't dissolve them.  Dude, just take your clean clothes and wear them and try not to overthink it, OK?

7. Have I mentioned I love my Fitbit?  I might hit 10,000 steps today.  Had I not taken the deathnap, I'd have been a shoo-in.

8.  There's a chance of rain the entire time I'm Las Vegas.  Seriously?  Because they handle it so well.  Never mind, I'm going to enjoy my time there if it kills me.  And since the first time I went I came down with an ear infection and crotch rot, and the second time I scratched my cornea - this week can only end in parasitic infection.  Or something equally gross.

9. Breaking Bad tonight.  Freaking love that show.

10.  I'll try and post from the road.  Later, taters.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Fit is it.

So, I'm loving my new FitBit.

It sounds dumb, but actually seeing on a screen the number of calories I consume and the number I burn is a great way of motivating me to eat less and move more.

Now, today, I slept in.  Way, way in.

And that's OK - because clearly I needed it.  I also made up for skipping breakfast with a more robust lunch from Koi Thai.

But I didn't eat the rice...I did eat the spring rolls.  It's about choices.

I think I'll lose this week, but even if I don't, I'm learning.  I'm not in denial and I'm not going through life blindly.

And that's what it's all about, isn't it?

In the meanwhile...

My dear friend Connie had her baby.  Reese (short for Teresa).  Now, when her son was born, they gave him the middle name Danger.  Reese's middle name?  Daring.

You have to love that.

Connie told me she was having a baby the day I called to tell her I'd just put Lola down.

I couldn't have been happier for her then, and I'm thrilled for her now.

And Lola isn't suffering, isn't in pain. 

And really, neither am I.

Though I do look at dogs with a certain amount of covetousness and lust these days.

Ah, well - too  much travel for a dog at the moment.

Las Vegas starting Monday.  Then some assorted trips to Kentucky and Ohio before a week and a half in The Windy City.

October?  May be time to take a vacation.

And to celebrate turning 39.

And for loving myself, warts and all.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

As a matter of fact...

Matt and I celebrated our Eighth Anniversary yesterday.  It's hard to believe we've been married that long, and at the same time, that it's only been eight years.  Although, we dated for five before that, so really we're at a bakers dozen.

Anyway, for our anniversary, I bought us each a little something.

Matt got the burgundy one, mine's black.
FitBits - they're basically souped up pedometers that give you constant feedback.  I'm already in love with mine.

Why?  Because I love data, hate paperwork.  And as my Weight Watcher leader keeps telling us, tracking is the only way to lose weight.  She's right, and I know this - but I love my cheerful oblivion.

That ends here.  And now.

So far today:

I've walked 775 steps, burned 815 calories, consumed 250 calories and drank 64 ounces of water.

Last night I slept 7 hours and 53 minutes.  I was restless for 8 minutes.

Ah, eNarcissism!

ae

Monday, August 19, 2013

Tsimmes Tsuris

So, the jelly is ready to go.  I'm planning to take both my strawberry jam and my pepper jelly.

But here's the newest wrench in the works...

This year, they charged an entry fee. Two dollars per entry.  And for a low-stakes player such as myself, it's annoying, but not life-altering.

What about the Chamberses of Cumberland Furnace?  Or Marjorie, or Minnie Faye?  They enter every category - that's  $92.  Which, OK - they stand to win more than they invest, but still!

We'll just see how it plays out.

Personally, unless I win big, I'm screwed.

Except for having some nice jelly to give as gifts.

ae

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Meh?

It was kind of a fast paced weekend.  I took Friday off for a mani/pedi, and to wait at home for the alarm system guy.  I picked the spouse up at his office around 5:30, and we were off.
Saturday, we had bagels, Matt got a haircut and we chilled out at the parents' house til it was time to go to my reunion.

I was having some stress about seeing all these people and as it turned out, the people I was happiest to see are people I see from time to time anyway.

Folks from the neighborhood.

Jim is one month and twenty days my senior.  We lived across the street from one another from birth til college.


There were a ton of people there I sort of knew and it was nice to see them, and a few people I was excited to see - but lots of people I had wanted to see weren't there. Like the people from French class, the OMers, and the AP Euro crew - two of us showed and we spent a lot of the night talking.

It was...

Meh.

I'm glad I went, I'm glad I saw people I liked, and there was no drama - nobody called me 'fro head or porky, or made fun of me for...anything.

I survived it, and it was fine.

Meh.  Not bad, not amazing.

And so we stayed for a bit, then hit up Waffle House, then came home and spent time with my parents.

ae

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Fake Lola

A few days ago, I posted a picture of me in a red dress, and a tiara, looking all young and thin and holding in my lap, a foam board and felt replica of Lola.

Even back then I was trying to avoid the dreaded double chin in pics.
So, I said that the Fake Lola was another story.

Here's the story.

My great grandfather, Julius Breyer (of Nashville, TN) died at the age of sixty-three.

His son, my grandfather, Adolph Henry Breyer (who went by A, thankfully) died at the age of sixty three.

So when my father, William Breyer turned sixty-four, we threw one hell of a party.  As you will.

So, this would have been in 2004.  December 27 of that year to be exact. 

I was still living in Atlanta, within a few miles of their house. 

Lola was no longer a puppy at that point, but she had gotten a bad rap for her evil ways.  She had, as will happen, gotten into a cake and some sausage at a brunch earlier that year on Easter Sunday.  Luckily, it was just me and Matt, Mom and Dad, and their dog Sadie to witness it.  I believe Sadie may also have gotten some sausage, but I remember Lola with a large link her mouth, running around the kitchen table like it was the Indy 500. 

Also, she didn't like people very much, and children especially.  Since there were going to be my cousins' kids at the party, it was decided and handed down to me that Lola was not invited.

What you should probably understand is that I didn't like to leave Lola at home.  Matt came to see me more than I went to see him because of Lola.   I may have had some separation anxiety.

Anyway, as you know I did not, and do not have kids.

But being told to leave my beast at my apartment (five miles away) hurt my feelings a little, so I did what any normal woman would do.  I made a replica cardboard cut out of my dog and brought it to the party.

Fake Lola then came to our wedding, bedecked in the bow you see above, and sat guard over the grooms' cake table.

She is in the guest room at Mom and Dad's - I should bring her home.

Now, there was another time that Lola was uninvited from a family event after we moved up here.

Sadie had passed on, and Mom and Dad had Maggie, the brand new Pug puppy.  Well, they were concerned that Lola would eat Maggie and said she couldn't come for Christmas.

I lost my shit a little on that edict, and we basically said, well, that's fine.  We're going to have to cut it short in Atlanta to get home and pick our dog up at the kennel so we can celebrate Christmas as a family in Nashville.

And that's basically what we did.  And what Lola did was write my parents a letter.

She cut words out of magazines  and pasted them.  I recall that the the letter contained an F bomb, said "thanks for nothing" and was signed, "Warmest Blessings, Lola" .  I'm a little fuzzy on the finer points, except that it was a passive aggressive arts and crafts project.  And that it contained her customary gift of scratch off lottery tickets.

For the record, Lola wouldn't have eaten Maggie.  Chinese never did sit well with her.

I still miss her.  Yesterday was eight months.  Today, Matt cleaned out our coat closet and said he swept up enough of her hair to clone her.  He also found the heating pad I put in her bed to keep her warm that last year.  I know for a fact her life jacket from our canoe trips is in there, too.

Ah well.

Warmest blessings,

ae

PS - We had 64 flamingos placed in my parents' lawn for that party.  Remind me to tell you about Dad's 70th.



Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Twenty is Plenty

So, I'm going to my reunion this weekend.  I'm a little anxious.

Ok, I'm a lot anxious.  I was channeling my energy into a spot on my car, roughly a half inch in size.

I was furiously scrubbing the spot tonight and I realized that nobody is going to see my car, let alone this spot that's smaller than a dime.

What they will see is something else...

Me.  All of me.

Me, circa 1992.  This was the thinnest I ever was as an "adult", but there was lots of Dexitrim onboard. I'm on the left.


At 3:24 last night, or rather, this morning, I woke up - Matt was having a vivid dream and was making some noise - I woke him, and he turned back over and fell asleep.  I laid there thinking bad things, as will happen when you're lying there in the dark, and I had this very clear thought that I'm about ninety pounds heavier than I was when I graduated high school twenty years ago.

I was going to type eighty because it sounds better, but I'll be honest with you, it's ninety.

And that's... not great.

So rather than focus on the fact that I'm going to this reunion fatter than they've ever seen me, I focused on this spot on my car - which is annoying, but it's my fault for letting the car stay unwashed for so long.  It's sap or bird poop or something... I don't know.

The spot is not the point, though it's less painful to think about.

What I thought about though, is that the last twenty years have been eventful.

Since graduation I have:

Started dating Todd
Started school at UGA
Joined Sigma Kappa
Joined Glee Club
Dumped by Todd
Minored in French
Went to Montreal for a week
Performed standup
Held a major office in my sorority
Joined a French Honor Society
Joined a Journalism Society
Sang Beethoven's Ninth under the direction of Yoel Levi
Got accepted to J School
Held a major office in the Journalism Society
Prozac!
Had my wisdom teeth removed
Interned at WAGA
Received the Esther Award from the Georgia Association of Broadcasters
Went to Disneyworld
Met Julius Epstein (and Robin Roberts, Bud Greenspan, Jack Brickhouse, Harry Shearer and Guy Sharp)
Got accepted into Order of the Omega
Started dating Rusty
Graduated
Moved back to Atlanta
Started job at IMNET
Laura got married, I was her Maid of Honor
Got promoted
Got acquired
Got downsized
Grandmother died
Rusty dumped me
Went to Paris
Got a job at Nexchange
LOLA!!!
Moved into my first apartment
Dated Wesley
Got stock options
Got promoted
Dumped Wesley
Put up a Christmas tree
Took Improv Classes
Took a year off from dating
Performed with Dad's Garage
Started dating Matt
Nexchange folded
Bought the ECHO
ECHO broadsided by Buick LeSabre (but not totalled)
Joined Weight Watchers, lost 50 pounds, eventually gained it all back
Performed with Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy
Did some freelancing
Performed with Laughing Matters
Acted in a play
Got a job at Iron Mountain
Hated it
Ran the Peachtree
Worked at Macy's
Met Lane at Weight Watchers
Got a root canal
Interviewed at InView
Left Iron Mountain
Worked at InView
Ran the Peachtree
Bridesmaid in Connie's wedding
Moved into my second apartment
Went to Paris
Got engaged
Got laid off from InView
Started at Best Access
Kept secret that I was moving
Fell in love with Arrested Development
Gave notice
Got married
Moved to Nashville
Barfed on Matt at carnival
Fell in love with How I Met Your Mother
Got a job at Imagination Branding
Bought house
Cried constantly
Effexor!
Got into the Soque Club on my second try
Hosted Thanksgiving
Hated job at Imagination Branding
Left Imagination Branding (under duress)
Went to Munich and Florence
Started at PureSafety
Head of the Social Committee for Soque Club
Made friends
Won a ribbon for my pepper jelly
Fell in love with hockey
Dad had a quadruple bypass
Laura had Henry
Flourished at PureSafety
Lost the ECHO to a tornado
Bought the Corolla
Refinanced the house
Had my tonsils removed
Connie's Baby Shower
Made more friends
Elected to the Board of the Soque Club
Joined Weight Watchers - lost 45 pounds, gained it all back (well, all but 2 pounds)
Got to wear a bee suit to an all-hands meeting
Got diagnosed with cancer of the hair follicle.  Had large chunk of scalp removed
Won Allison-FM for a day
Made more friends
Won another ribbon for my pepper jelly
Tried Marijuana for the first time
Got acquired by UL
Got a new title
Got a raise
Matt sick for a while
Matt got better
Went to NOLA for CAT Conference.
Went to UL headquarters and became a superstar
Went to NOLA for Jim's birthday
Changed bosses again
Started learning IMS
Went to Maine and made lots of friends
Got my nose pierced
Traveled a ton for work
Corolla totalled
Had Lola put down
Cried constantly
Speeding ticket
Saw Niagara Falls
Dad sick
Went to NYC for CAT Conference
Spent time with Henry
Las Vegas
Dad better
Connie's second baby shower
Fell in love with Breaking Bad
Las Vegas
Learning New Product, SYSTOC
Las Vegas

I'd say it's been a full 20 years.

So, if anyone asks what happened - I think I'll just direct them here.

Sincerely,

Fatter but Wiser

Monday, August 12, 2013

Advice to Brides

So, I know a lot of brides out there  - girls I know who are recently engaged... don't drink the water, apparently.

They haven't asked for my wise counsel, but let me offer it anyway, just in case:

1. Your first order of business:  Buy a tiara.  It doesn't have to be nice, or expensive, but big and blingy is critical.  Wear it everywhere you do wedding business.  It lets them know you have a sense of humor and are a force to be reckoned with.


Hard to see, but hidden in all that hair is my tiara.  Why I have a fake Lola is another story.

2.  Bridesmaid dresses: If you have bridesmaids, and they don't pick their own dresses, at least one of them won't like what you picked.  They will be too nice (hopefully) to say anything.  But go easy on them.  Did I want hot pink dresses?  Yes.  Would my soon to be sister-in-law, a natural redhead have looked good in that color?   No.  I got aqua dresses instead.  I thought they were pretty.  I think all three of my maids hated them for different reasons, but they did look good on all three.

Take note of the flowers - they're important.


3. Don't make any promises.  Everyone you know thinks they'll be invited to your wedding - they may not be.  Practice being vague about it.  It's fine.  You don't owe anyone anything.

4. After you get your tiara, stock up on thank you notes.  You cannot have enough of them.  Buy some pretty stamps, too.

5.  That cake stand you want to register for?  You'll never use it.   Register for it anyway, but just be warned, you'll never use it.  A nice colander won't ever get put away.  Unless you're one of those PITA gluten free couples.  In which case - the colander may be a waste.

6.  You will be surprised at the generosity of...everyone.  Enjoy it.  But write thank you notes.

7. Comfortable shoes the day of the wedding.  And frankly, always.  They can still be pretty. 

8. Register for more spoons than you think you'll need.  Those fuckers go missing.  I don't know how, they just do.  Trust me on this.

9. Go ahead and register for the Kitchen Aid stand mixer.  It's the Holy Grail of wedding gifts, and you'll be stunned to find that someone will get it for you.

10. But also register for some small items.  As much as I made fun of the "Citrus Trumpet" from Williams-Sonoma, I use that damn thing a lot.

11.  Pick your battles.  The one thing I was completely balls to the wall about was my flowers.   I love flowers, I know a fair amount about them, and I knew what I wanted.  So I was insistent on it. But my mother's dress?  Well, I trusted her - and good thing - she bought it without me.  Was it what I'd have picked?  No, but she looked amazing.  End of story.  Matt's Aunt asked what I wanted her to wear, and I said, "Something you love that makes you feel terrific." Maybe I should have done that for my bridesmaids... naaaaah!

I was so young, and thin.  Damn, I'd like to be that thin again.



12. Spend less on cake, more on alcohol.  Cake's great - but do you really need a quintuple-decker fondant nightmare?  For one, buttercream tastes better.  For two, with the exception of the under 21 and 12 step crowd, people like to drink more than they like cake.  Although, full disclosure, I managed to get a piece of cake, but not a drink at my wedding.  Even fuller disclosure, I won my cake in a silent auction for $50.  They charged $25 to deliver it, so... score! 

13. There's nothing wrong with:  having a big wedding, having a small wedding, having a wedding in your hometown, having a wedding in an exotic location, eloping, getting married at the courthouse, getting married underwater...basically, the right wedding for you is the perfect wedding- and I've been to tons of them - I've never been to one that wasn't super fun.

14. I really can't stress enough the need for extra spoons.

15. Nesting bowls.  If you don't register for them, I will get them for you:


Friday, August 9, 2013

Highwoods Confidential*



*Highwoods is the name of the management company that runs my office building.  If I didn't have to explain that, it might be an actual joke.

Head of the mentor program – You may not want to use the word “whimsical” in a business conversation.  Whimsy is not a great reason to pair two people together in a mentorship.

Lady at the Clinique counter -  You looked like you’d slammed your face in a vat of tinted Crisco, but I appreciate your willingness to help me.  That said, beige isn’t gray.  Charcoal is gray, but I was hoping for... you know, what, never mind - I'll take the Coal Enchilada, or whatever it's called.  Hand over the bonus and I'll see you next summer.

The 4th Grader next door – I will buy you a locking pencil box with pleasure.  Use it gently – the reviews on it are crap, but I get it – all the other kids have them.  To be honest, I kind of want one, now.

I had these amazing meatballs at Taste of India – Curry Kofta – to which I say, where have you been all my life you little gingery mounds of joy?  I now need to learn how to make them.  WOW.  I mean, wow.

I had a Zzzzapalooza the other night – the spouse was in Alabama, so I went home, laid down around 7PM, and woke up at 4AM.  At which point I cooked  a late supper, had a bite and went back to bed.  I needed it.  I’d do it again in a hot minute, but it’s easier if I have the place to myself.  In theory, I could do this on a trip sometime. 

I’m getting ready, sort of, to do my High School reunion.  Twenty years.  Which hardly seems possible, but in doing the math, even given my poor math skills is not only possible, but actual.  Good times.  I need shoes.

Guy who announced he’s homeschooling his kid:  I met your kid, and I know you and your wife – I truly think some book-learnin’  courtesy of the local Board of Education would do that kid some good – you might learn something from her, too.  Just thought I’d put that out there for you.

Kroger Cashiers:  I don’t know if you could be any worse at bagging groceries.  Here’s a hint – I put them on the counter in order.  Don’t put my soap in with the meat and we’ll call it a day.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Hello, Kitty!

So, I like to talk about my period in my blog.  A lot.

And if you don't want to read further on today's post, you've been warned.

Today, I let my inner bitch go outer.

I feel I was within my right - I have a colleague -  I'll him call "The Kid" -  who I'm trying to ramp up on three products he just doesn't get and can't train on.

One of them we train on only once or twice a quarter - but when my other teammate (who we'll call Katrina, even though he's a dude) in the department left back in January, we told The Kid that this product was his baby and he needed to learn it prior to Katrina's departure.

To absolutely nobody's surprise, both Katrina and The Kid failed in this endeavor.  Which leaves me to be the sole supporter of the product.  It's not hard, it's not something we sell often.  But if I win the lottery, or get hit by a bus, I need back-up.

So.  We had one of these trainings scheduled... weeks ago WEEKS.  And I invited The Kid to get on the call, take notes and get ready to start training.  I'm not being harsh - this product is an off-shoot of something he's been working on since day one.

The call was to start at 9AM.  And, he wasn't at his desk.  At 9:01, I get an IM from him to record the session.

I messaged back:  Don't Bother.

Which didn't make sense, but what I meant by it was, AYFKM?  I'm not going to be bothered.

I finished my training - The Kid still wasn't at his desk.  I was about to message The Kid's manager, which, for reasons too complex to go into, is not the same person who is my manager.  I wondered if he was sick or what?

And then The Kid walks in.  At like 10:15.

Turns out he overslept.

OVERSLEPT.

Now, I understand what it's like to be tired.  Tuesday, I flew to Chicago for the day - woke up at my usual 6:40, went to the airport with my colleagues, we worked our way through horrendous traffic and bad directions - no lunch or bathroom breaks - went straight into a 2PM meeting.  The customer was so engrossed in our presentation - they asked us to stay past our scheduled two hours.  So we met for three hours and fifteen minutes.  Then we grabbed a quick meal, headed back to the airport and got home at 11:15 PM.  And packed my husband's bag for his trip the next morning.

So I get tired.  I do.  Yesterday, by the time I got home I was dead.  I decided to lie down before dinner....and woke up at 4AM.  Went back to sleep and got up when my alarm went off.  So yes, tired and I are acquainted.

But to oversleep and be TWO HOURS LATE?

I'll cut to the chase.  I was bitchy to him about missing the class.

And I posted about it in a vague way on Facebook.  As I will:

Look, I get it that I'm a bitch, but if you're going to do something irritating, it's going to make that tendency more pronounced. So...what's your takeaway from this little exchange?

One friend suggested:  "Don't Poke The Bitch?"

We might get shirts printed.

Another posted:  "I'm guessing you're premenstrual?"  To which, I replied,

Congrats on an excellent diagnosis. I checked my Hello Kitty calendar (which I keep for that exact reason) and...well, that explains my insatiable craving for Indian food. 

Because I totally do:



 Notice the little mark on 8/12?  Survey says.... DING DING DING!!!!!

I also stopped and got Indian for lunch.  Because, come on.  I'm only human.

Curry shuts my inner bitch up.

But for future reference:  Don't Poke The Bitch!

ae 

Friday, August 2, 2013

Everyone needs a Jim

So, I have a friend named Jim.  We work together, but we're friends outside the office as well.

For the moment,I'll tell you the role he fills as my office husband.

He lets me vent, doesn't judge and we keep each other up to speed on gossip.

That's the 30,000 foot view.  It's much richer and more textured than that.

Fairly often, we'll proof emails for one another - not for spelling and grammar - because we're both excellent writers, but for tone and crazy - because we're both human.

Today, I had him look at one that he told me to "send as-is".  Letting me know it was neither too bitchy nor too whiny.

It's kind of a shame that I have to have an editorial board for that, but I do.

But really, everyone needs a Jim.