Wednesday, March 1, 2017

From The Desk Of...

When you've worked somewhere for a decade, you start to collect some stuff at your desk.

I'm also a lover of clutter and kitsch, so there's that.

Matt once described my decorating aesthetic as "Pee Wee's Little Playhouse on the Prairie".  I would object, but for one, he's right, and for two, that's damn funny.

So, we have all these signs around the office about protecting our data, changing passwords often, keeping private information private.  Some of of them are funny but they get the point across.

The one that cracks me up every time I walk past this is this one:


 

This is a particular pet peeve of our CEO, but I would argue that people who have messy desks have a filing system you'll never understand, and so it's highly improbable that anyone would find anything on my desk that is confidential.

Here's what you would find:


I bought the stuffed scorpion in the Phoenix airport.  I'm a Scorpio.  A map of the US that I color in as I visit each state (note the crayons).  Two balls to be used for removing knots in my shoulders.   The Pepper Jelly Queen of Safety sign was a gift from a former colleague.  Next to it, you can just barely see the tip of a Christmas ornament from a customer.  It's a cargo barge with glitter snow on some of the shipping crates. Also a few pens and notebooks for when I work.





I created this vignette from toys I bought at Archie McPhee in Seattle.  The drink tab needs to be added to a jar in the break room for some fundraiser.  I may or may not hide spare meds in here somewhere.



Every year, I get myself a calendar.  My first year here it was shirtless firemen.  I was the only woman on my team, and my boss encouraged.  The next year, I got roosters (think about it).  After that, it was just whatever.  I got cheap and started getting the small $2 jobs from Walgreen's.  Last year, I had kittens as well, and I gave them word balloons. This year, it's just captions.  Note the complete lack of travel on this calendar.  Crickets, people.  Crickets.





So many things here.  A bear from American Cancer Society's daffodil days, courtesy of some colleagues in Maine.  A puck from the All-Star 2016 weekend.  A glass from a Japanese Curry house in Anaheim.  A small music box that plays "What a Wonderful World", my Miss Roswell High School pageant trophy.  I didn't win or place, but the trophy reads "Miss RHS 1990", and so people can draw their own conclusion.  Worth noting, the trophy is older than two of the Project Managers in my department.  A jar of marbles, a jar of pennies and two bottles of nail polish.  The color is "Stick it to the Man".  Right behind the marbles is a replica wind turbine that one of my customers gave me. 



Far left, a pair of glasses with pink bunny ears, nose and whiskers.  Purchased for a conference call where video was mandatory.  Then a bunch of photos of family, plus a framed greeting card of an alligator on a unicycle wearing a party hat and carrying a present. Because I love it. You can see I have windows near my cubicle,  so there's natural light, and that's always nice.  I can also keep an eye on the parking lot.  We're on floor six of seven.  It's pretty sweet.




I haven't had a real period in years.  Thanks, Mirena!  But I haven't figured out what to do with my massive collection of feminine hygiene products.  Although, I'm tempted to put them in the ladies' room.  That said, these girls who are younger than my pageant trophy probably use something a little more high-tech than this.  There's also at least three noisemakers from New Years Eve 2012.  So that's fun.  This drawer typically holds non-perishble foodstuffs.  I have more than once found a desiccated piece of fruit in the back of my desk drawers.  I'm not proud of that.

This concludes the short tour of my desk.  Please exit through the gift shop, and don't forget to take a complimentary maxi pad.

ae



1 comment:

Christopher Waldrop said...

Your workspace is clearly unsafe. Someone is liable to come in there and have a hysterical laughing fit.
Especially when they see the kittens.